Understanding and addressing sleep dependencies
Core Idea: Sleep crutches are conditions a child relies on to fall asleep initially that they then seek during normal night wakings, disrupting their ability to return to sleep independently.
Key Elements
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Understanding sleep cycles
- Everyone experiences light sleep cycles throughout the night
- Adults and children naturally wake briefly during these cycles
- Most return to sleep so quickly they don't remember waking
- When sleep conditions change between falling asleep and waking, fuller waking occurs
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Common sleep crutches
- Being rocked to sleep
- Falling asleep while nursing or bottle feeding
- Being held to sleep
- Needing specific music or sounds that might stop during the night
- Parent presence when falling asleep initially
- Specific position or location different from where they'll spend the night
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Implementation steps
- Identify any sleep associations the child can't recreate themselves
- Gradually adjust bedtime routine to reduce dependencies
- Ensure conditions at bedtime match middle-of-night conditions
- Support child in developing self-soothing techniques
- Be consistent with approach during night wakings
- Distinguish between genuine needs and habitual wakings
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Common pitfalls
- Creating new sleep crutches while trying to eliminate others
- Inconsistency between caregivers or between nights
- Mistaking all night waking for crutch-seeking
- Rushing the transition process
- Ignoring legitimate needs (hunger, discomfort, illness)
Additional Connections
- Broader Context: Montessori Sleep Environment (foundational sleep approach)
- Applications: Parent as Guide Mindset (supporting while building independence)
- See Also: Setting Boundaries Around Leaving (similar boundary principles)
References
- Davies, S. (2019). The Montessori Toddler.
- West, K. (2010). The Sleep Lady's Good Night, Sleep Tight, Vanguard Press.
#sleep #independence #development #montessori
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