How stated intentions mask our failure to act
Core Idea: People often deceive themselves by repeatedly declaring intentions without taking action, allowing verbal commitment to substitute for genuine pursuit of their supposed goals.
Key Elements
Psychological Mechanisms
- Verbal declarations create a false sense of progress toward goals
- Stating intentions triggers premature psychological reward responses
- Repeated declarations without action establish self-deceptive patterns
- Social reinforcement often rewards declarations regardless of follow-through
Recognition Signals
- Long-term patterns of discussing the same goals without meaningful progress
- Emotional resistance to honest assessment of action patterns
- Defensive responses when others point out the gap between words and actions
- Continued reliance on future-oriented language ("I will," "I'm going to")
Breaking the Pattern
- Honest assessment of behavioral patterns over extended periods
- Acceptance that repeated inaction reveals lack of genuine priority
- Either committing to immediate action or acknowledging the goal isn't truly valued
- Creating accountability systems that focus on behavior rather than declarations
Practical Application
- Testing stated priorities through deliberate action steps
- Setting time limits on how long a declared intention can remain unpursued
- Distinguishing between genuine obstacles and manifestations of low priority
- Periodically auditing the gap between stated intentions and actual behaviors
Additional Connections
- Broader Context: Cognitive Dissonance (discomfort from holding contradictory beliefs)
- Applications: Goal Setting (effective vs ineffective approaches)
- See Also: Actions Reveal True Priorities (the behavioral demonstration of genuine values)
References
- Sivers, D. (2020). Hell Yeah or No: What's Worth Doing. "I had been fooling myself for years, telling myself I wanted to do this, but my actions proved otherwise" passage.
#psychology #self-awareness #goal-setting #self-deception
Connections:
Sources:
- From: Sivers-Hell Yeah or No