The misconception that we can eventually reach a state without problems
Core Idea: Many people operate under the unconscious assumption that they will eventually solve all their current problems and reach a state of problem-free existence, when in reality, solving problems only reveals new ones.
Key Elements
- Psychological Pattern: The tendency to believe current difficulties are temporary anomalies rather than inherent to life
- Common Manifestation: Phrases like "once I solve X, things will be easier" or "after this phase, life will calm down"
- Sam Harris Example: His realization that he had been tacitly assuming he should eventually be able to rid himself of all problems
- Life Stages Pattern: Moving from education to career to family formation, each with its own set of challenges that replace previous ones
Developmental Aspects
- Children naturally assume adults have "figured it out"
- Young adults often believe established professionals have overcome struggles
- Mid-life can bring recognition that problems are constant companions
- Wisdom often involves accepting the perpetual nature of challenges
Problematic Effects
- Postponement of happiness ("I'll be happy when...")
- Disappointment when new problems emerge after solving old ones
- Feeling uniquely burdened when everyone faces challenges
- Resistance to current reality rather than engagement with it
Connections
- Related Concepts: Beyond Mountains More Mountains (the endless nature of problems), Accepting Limited Time (limitations as reality)
- Broader Context: Hedonic Adaptation (how we adjust to changes), Stoicism (philosophy of accepting life's difficulties)
- Applications: Resilience (building capacity to face ongoing challenges), Present Moment Acceptance (engaging with current reality)
References
- Burkeman, O. "Meditations for Mortals" as summarized by Ali Abdaal
- Sam Harris's realization about expecting to have no more problems
#fallacies #expectations #problems #acceptance #psychology
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