#atom

A principle for nurturing positive self-perception and behavior

Core Idea: Attribute to children the best possible motive consistent with the facts, recognizing that our beliefs about their reasons can create self-fulfilling prophecies.

Key Elements

• Psychological Foundation:

  • We rarely know with certainty why a child acted a certain way
  • Our interpretations of their behavior influence their developing self-concept
  • Children tend to internalize and fulfill the expectations we communicate

• Developmental Context:

  • Especially important with young children whose misbehavior is often developmental
  • Young children's sense of self is still forming, making them more susceptible to adults' assumptions
  • Positive assumptions are often accurate when considering developmental limitations

• Implementation Approach:

  • Look beyond the immediate behavior to consider potential positive intentions
  • Consider developmental appropriateness before assuming intentional misbehavior
  • Frame explanations in terms of learning and growth rather than character flaws
  • Use language that separates the behavior from the child's worth

Connections

• Related Concepts: Unconditional Acceptance in Parenting (supports psychological safety), Self-Fulfilling Prophecies (psychological mechanism at work)
• Broader Context: Growth Mindset (how we frame children's behavior influences their development)
• Applications: Responding to Challenging Behavior (practical application in discipline)

References

1. Kohn, A. (2005). Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason

#parenting #childpsychology #positivediscipline #attribution

Connections:

Sources:

• From: Kohn-Unconditional Parenting