Non-evaluative responses that support intrinsic motivation
Core Idea: Traditional praise often serves adult needs more than children's, while descriptive feedback, questions, and authentic interest better support healthy development and intrinsic motivation.
Key Elements
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Problems with Traditional Praise:
- Often serves parental emotional needs rather than child development
- Can create praise dependency and external validation seeking
- May reduce enjoyment in activities as focus shifts to evaluation
- Can undermine intrinsic motivation and authentic interest
- Often communicates conditional acceptance
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Effective Alternatives:
- Descriptive Feedback: Commenting on what you observed without evaluation
- Reflection Questions: Asking what the child thinks about their work
- Process Focus: Discussing how they accomplished something
- Impact Awareness: Gently highlighting effects of positive actions on others
- Authentic Interest: Showing genuine curiosity about their perspective
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Implementation Approach:
- Transition gradually from evaluative praise to descriptive feedback
- Balance description, questions, and reduced evaluation
- Ask children about their experience with different types of feedback
- Focus on process and effort rather than outcomes or talents
- Emphasize learning and growth over achievement and performance
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Long-term Benefits:
- Supports development of internal standards
- Encourages self-reflection and critical thinking
- Builds authentic interest in activities for their own sake
- Reduces unhealthy performance orientation
- Helps children focus on what truly matters beyond credentials
Connections
- Related Concepts: Unconditional Acceptance in Parenting (foundational principle), Intrinsic vs Extrinsic Motivation (psychological mechanism)
- Broader Context: Growth Mindset Development (supports process focus), Self-Determination Theory (psychological framework)
- Applications: Supporting Authentic Learning (educational application)
References
- Kohn, A. (2005). Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason
#intrinsicmotivation #positivefeedback #childpsychology #parenting
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